The experimental verification of the existence of the Higgs field in CERN’s LHC accelerator three years ago (July 2012), and the award of the Nobel prize to the scientists who had predicted its existence (including Peter Higgs and François Englert), led me to buy Roger Penrose’s *Road to Reality, A Complete Guide to the Laws of the Universe*. So I started to try to read and understand it, and I also started writing this blog to externalize my frustration as I tried to cope with the difficulties involved. But now this site is getting quite a few hits and, hence, I’ll just continue it and see where it goes.

I consider myself to be of average intelligence only. However, I also consider myself to be a ‘citizen of the world’ and, hence, I think this is something we all should understand *somehow*. I don’t shy away from the math, however. So this is not a *Guide to the Universe for Dummies*. However, I hope it may help to guide some Not-So-Dummies. 🙂

Oh… And as for Penrose’s book, I put it aside and start reading *Feynman’s Lectures *instead, which is why I’ve got two site addresses for this blog: *Reading Penrose *and *Reading Feynman*. I have to admit it’s basically about reading Feynman nowadays. Maybe I’ll start reading Penrose again in some distant future. But probably not: Penrose writes more about the math than about the physics, and I am more interested in the latter.

**3 March 2016**

I started this blog almost two and a half years ago. I am not where I had hoped to be. Not yet. But I do feel like I have a good grasp of quantum electrodynamics now. It feels good—like climbing Mont Blanc and seeing the summit ahead. 🙂 There is a lot more to learn before I’ll really get what it’s all abou but—*Hey! *Feynman once wrote the following: “I think I can safely say that nobody understands quantum mechanics.” Well… I am not sure I fully understand it either—but I proved that the underlying math is structurally the same as that used in classical electrodynamical theory. So… Well… Perhaps we don’t ‘understand’ classical electrodynamics either.

**19 March 2016**

You probably heard about the discovery of gravitational waves by Caltech’s LIGO Lab. This makes our picture of the Universe pretty complete. As far as I am concerned, it confirms the wavefunction is, effectively, a propagation mechanism that is common to *all *forces. The fundamental question remains: what *is *the wavefunction? *What *are those real and imaginary parts of that ubiquitous complex-valued wavefunction?

I think I have an answer to that question now: the wavefunction does not only *describe* some oscillation *in *spacetime; it actually *is* an oscillation *of *spacetime.

Maxwell, after jotting down his equations for the electromagnetic wavefunction, wrote the following back in 1862: “The velocity of transverse undulations in our hypothetical medium, calculated from the electromagnetic experiments of MM. Kohlrausch and Weber, agrees so exactly with the velocity of light calculated from the optical experiments of M. Fizeau, that *we can scarcely avoid the conclusion that light consists in the transverse undulations of the same medium which is the cause of electric and magnetic phenomena*.”

We now know there is no medium – no *aether* (we do have the Higgs field, however!) – but we still haven’t answered the most fundamental question: *what *is it that is oscillating? We haven’t gone beyond the abstract math. I dare to say now that it must be spacetime itself. I guess that, in order to prove this, I’ll have to study Einstein’s *general *theory of relativity.

PS: Feynman’s developed his series of famous *Lectures *at Caltech. For some reason I don’t quite understand, it gives me immense satisfaction that the LIGO Lab is a Caltech initiative… Or… Well… I should add that Caltech arch-rival (MIT) is also involved. While it’s one of these things the scientific community *had to *find, I am so happy they did! 🙂 We live in exciting times!

**6 June 2016**

About three weeks ago, I brought my most substantial posts together in one document: it’s the Deep Blue page of this site. For those who’d like to read it in an e-book format, I also published it on Amazon/Kindle. This crowns many years of self-study, and many nights of short and bad sleep – as I was mulling over yet another paradox haunting me in my dreams. It’s been an extraordinary climb but, frankly, the view from the top is magnificent.

What a journey ! But I think I am slowly starting to find those words – the words that the Buddhist psychoanalyst, Robert Langan, refers to:

“We are in the words, and at the same time, apart from them. The words spin out, spin us out, over a void. There, somewhere between us, some words form some answer for some time, allowing us to live more fully in the forgetting face of nonexistence, in the dissolving away of each other.” (Robert Langan, in Jeremy Safran (2003), Psychoanalysis and Buddhism: an Unfolding Dialogue)

As all of physics is expressed in the language of math, I should substitute the “words” in that quote for “the math”: it’s the math that spins me out now, not the words—over some void. And the math forms some answer, for some time at least. 🙂 I also do think it allows me to live more fully – in the face of existence, or nonexistence. I am not sure which, but then existence and nonexistence are just dual mathematical spaces, so they must describe the same reality. 🙂

**3 October 2017**

As expected, the LIGO team got the Nobel Prize for Physics this year. It happened just now! They should have gotten it last year but… Then… Well… I guess the professors on the Committee needed more time to understand what it’s all about. 🙂

I wrote them a congratulatory message, and sent them my paper. I can’t believe I actually did that, but I did. In the best case, I just made a fool of myself. In the worst case… Well… I just made a fool of myself.

This might be the end of my journey. I’ve reached the summit. I’ve got the answers I was looking for. This is the e-mail I sent:

**Subject**: Congrats from Einstein 🙂

Dear Professors – Congratulations with the well-deserved Nobel Prize.

I am sure Einstein is very pleased. So… Well… Perhaps it is time to look at Einstein’s ideas about the quantum-mechanical wavefunction again – so as to try to connect the cosmos with the nano-world again.

If we look at Planck’s constant as a scaling constant only, then the argument of the wavefunction re-acquires a *physical *dimension (action) and, therefore, we then just need to find a suitable physical dimension for its components. As electromagnetic fields are associated with the N/C dimension (force per unit charge), it is quite natural to associate the N/kg = m/s^{2} dimension (force per unit *mass*) with the components of the matter-wave (i.e. the real and imaginary part). To make a long story short, the wavefunction can be interpreted as a tiny traveling gravitational wave itself. The results can be derived easily, and are elegant and intuitive:

- Probabilities are proportional to energy densities (and, of course, we get a
*physical*normalization condition, complementing the mathematical normalization condition); - Schrodinger’s equation becomes a diffusion equation for energy (interpreted as a two-dimensional oscillation of mass);
- The boson-fermion dichotomy is explained intuitively (the physical dimension of the components of the electromagnetic wave are expressed in force per unit
*charge*(N/C), while we use the mentioned N/kg unit for matter-particles). - Spin angular momentum is explained by the left- or right-handedness of the matter-wave and – as an added bonus – we get the electron radius (scattering radius) from a geometric argument.
- Also, the interpretation of amplitudes as traveling fields should also make it possible to derive the rotation matrices for amplitudes in an equally intuitive way.

I pre-published the key ideas on viXra.org (http://vixra.org/abs/1709.0390) – and also enclose them here. If not serious, then at least it’s fun as a *didactic *approach. I’ll probably try to publish this – in due time – in one of the more philosophical (read: less serious) journals. 🙂

Kind regards and congratulations once again.

Jean Louis Van Belle, *Drs, MAEc, BAEc, BPhil*

Haha. I feel you bra. I got so frustrated with Penrose’s book that I enrolled in a math PhD program!

Please take a look at http://81018.com to see if there is a new door being opened to all these basic questions. Thanks. -Bruce

I totally disagree, I thought Penrose’s book was eminently readable, definitely the clearest popular physics book I’ve read. Sure, it took work to get through some things, but to me that’s preferable to finishing [the other pop-physics books] and feeling like I knew nothing.

Sirs: I tried ,unsuccesfuly, to print out the January 2015 “Strange theory of light and matter”. I recognize that it would be of enormous help in understanding Feynman’s QED. Please send copy to my email or some option to pay for hard copy to N H Gaffin 704 Endicott Ave Cinnaminson NJ 08077. Thanks Norman Gaffin

If you google it, there are quite a few options to order it online, no? Check it on: http://press.princeton.edu/titles/8169.html You can also order it on Amazon. It’s very delightful really. Still, a lot of it is the voice of Ralph Leighton, who did not quite understand all of what Feynman was trying to tell. 🙂

I came across your blog when I bought The Road to Reality and like you, I decided to buy Feynman’s lectures because I really want to getter a better grasp of the Physics. I’ve really enjoyed reading parts of your blog even though I’m still in the very nascent stage of my reading. I guess I will go back and read all of it as I progress through climbing my own Mont Blanc. Thanks for taking the time out to write this for those of us who really enjoy reading it.

Thanks for writing. It took me a long time to get through it – but it’s worth the effort. There are still many things I want to have another look at now, and maybe I’ll try to get a formal degree in physics now. I’d say the key thing is to understand Euler’s formula (complex numbers) and then, unfortunately, you do need to study the vector analysis in Volume II as well (concepts like curl and circulation). Finally, there is all the stuff related to waves (harmonics) and the principle of superposition. Good luck !

Thanks for the tips!

Hi Jean, and first of all thank you for your book Quantum Mechanics The Other Introduction. It is the best book on Kindle! Other books are nothing compared to yours.

I just want to let you know that the colour of the font in the book appears very pale grey on kindle paperwhite (the kindle you can read in full sunlight, the screen is black and white or grey) and hard to read because of it. I would love if you update the font to more readable black one. Please, please, please 🙂

Thank you for your genius

Dear Sergey, thanks so much for your compliment. If you like the book, please write a recommendation on the Amazon site, so its popularity increases ! I changed the font to black and uploaded it again. I also added a chapter with the dimensions of the real and imaginary component of the wavefunction – taken from my http://www.probe.live site – which is a bit of a summary of the book with a more philosophical introduction to it. Please let me know if this works better ! Cheers, JL